Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
