I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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