Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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