If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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