I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He passed out mid-signature
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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