I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm jealous of your bromance
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
