yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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