And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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