I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
