Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize