so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize