I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize