I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize