so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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