Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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