If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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