dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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