the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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