This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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