OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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