guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
