I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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