Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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