I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
