That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
