The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
