he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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