There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
