how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize