She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
