There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
