My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize