i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
