16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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