she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
