i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
