im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
