Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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