Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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