Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
