Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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