Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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