Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
How external is "for external use only"?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
