Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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