On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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