I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
