for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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