How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Randomize
