She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
