you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
