i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
