Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
