I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
