GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
smell my finger.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
