help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
