I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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