i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
